057: Bring Your Age and Experience to the Holiday Table

Ah...the holidays.

I hope you realize that aging and second half living has given you your fair share of holiday experiences - good and bad I would assume.

Keep in mind that you're among those who...

Have raised your kids.

Have a grandchild or two...or perhaps even great-grandchildren.

Are home base for most holiday shenanigans.

Or...

You're of the age that you travel home as an adult child prepared to avoid all those well-meaning questions you'd prefer not to answer.

No doubt, the holidays are a joyful and nostalgic time but the holiday season is also a potential mine-field of disaster - unless you're aware and know where to tread lightly.

But enough of the holiday reality, let's focus on how to bring your age and experience to the table during the holidays and create memorable moments with your tribe.

Your age and experience (wherever you are on that grid) can influence an enjoyable and stress-free holiday season

Family members look to you.

They read your mood and the tone you set around the holiday table.

• Playfulness sets the mood.
• Storing the emotional baggage away avoids unnecessary conflict.
• Embracing the mess unwraps the real joy of the holidays.

Play together

The turkey and dressing, the ham, the gravy, the mashed potatoes, buttered rolls, and green bean casserole (and of course the bottles of table wine).

Those are the holiday staples starting with Thanksgiving and leading up to the gifts on Christmas or however you celebrate the season.

But the gravy on the top is an atmosphere of playfulness.

• Clear the table and play games together.
• Play along with the stories the older adults tell around the table.
• Play for keeps - realizing you're making memories that add to your legacy.

Pack-light

Bringing emotional baggage to the holiday gathering is a recipe for disaster.

It has explosive potential that creates a lot of unnecessary collateral damage.

Why jack-up your festive season by bringing up the past, present issues, or future predictions?

• Avoid emotionally charged conversations altogether - politics, faith/religion, lifestyle choices, and mistakes should be off-limits.
• Be aware and have side-bar conversations if the need arises (and if productive) but take-it-outside to protect the holiday table.
• Do your part to keep the peace - enough peacekeepers in the room can make a difference.

Pursue joy

Among the big threats to your holiday joy and that of your family is perfectionism.

Remember, done is better than perfect.

Get your holiday prep and the day's events done and don't give into the lure of making sure everything is perfect (control-freaks I'm talking to you).

"Remember, it’s okay if everything isn’t perfect! The desire to create the “perfect” holiday often leads to stress, burnout, and inadequacy. Embrace imperfections, trusting that the memories you make don’t rely on everything being flawless." 1

• Stop trying to match or compare with someone's holiday highlight reels or posts on Facebook (they won't show you the cat throwing up under the table or the rolls they burned...so relax no one has it all together!)
• Embrace the mess - the holidays are messy.
• Choose flow over flawless - if your holidays flow that's enough.

The holidays are here - you can't change that - but what a difference you can make by allowing your age and experience to make this one memorable

• Play together
• Pack-light leaving emotional baggage behind
• Pursue joy (not perfection)

Happy Holidays!

Press on...

Eddie

Sources:

1-https://medium.com/@alignedwithjojo/how-to-combat-holiday-stress-c03b4a9155c4