043: Are You Setting the Stage for Drama as You Age?
It's amazing how drama can follow you throughout your life.
I mean, who wakes up and says, "I'm planning to attract drama into my life today"?
But it happens.
By drama I'm referring to the emotional, physical, or otherwise triggering baggage that happens during life's encounters.
Could be a person (the most likely culprit), a circumstance, an event, or a condition.
But first things first...
There's an essential difference between "drama" that's staged around us and "trauma" that happens to us.
If you want to effectively deal with and eliminate trauma I recommend seeking professional help to navigate your way through it - and please do!
For now, let's talk about drama and how to stop setting the stage for it in your life.
As you've aged you have likely developed coping mechanisms for the drama others bring into your life.
You can ignore it, confront it, see a therapist about it, or continue feeding it and commenting on it (ya hearing me social media?).
If the world is a stage (as some refer to it) then drama is and will always be on full display - relationally, politically, emotionally, spiritually - there's always a full cast of characters ready to take the stage.
Drama is ageless (no one is immune) but you can decide to engage-less with the drama you encounter
- Protecting your reserves
- Avoiding poke-the-bear syndrome
- Focusing on influence instead of concerns
Protect yourself
Drama drains energy.
The longer you stay in it or fixated on it you risk thoroughly depleting your energy.
My emotional bandwidth - like yours perhaps - warns when reserves are being depleted.
It's time to engage your protective mode.
- Engage self-awareness: listen to your heart and inner voice to distinguish what's an area of legitimate concern and what's merely drama.
- Run interference: trust the natural order within your mind and your circumstances.
"Drama-free people know that suffering is experienced to the degree you try to interfere with the natural order of both your circumstances and your mind."1
And speaking of interference...
Stop interfering
You can be present (around drama) without taking ownership of it.
Why?
When you interfere in someone's drama you risk becoming a potential accomplice.
Consider how social media drama invites interference (am I right?).
A comment thread is evidence of that fact.
If you "poke-the-bear" don't be surprised if you're attacked.
- Live by a life's-too-short mindset - a gift of aging is having a bigger picture perspective on things instead of giving into the need to be involved in things.
- Listen to your drama-senses - if it looks, feels, and sounds like drama, guess what...it probably is.
- Let drama play-out - adding to the noise increases the volume and its impact on you.
Live in your zone of influence not another's zone of concern
You can control what you have influence over.
And what concerns you (or someone else) is most likely out of your control.
I'm a fan of influence.
I'm often frustrated my concerns.
How about you?
Be relieved that you aren't required to change anyone or whatever it is that concerns them.
But influence, on the other hand, has incredible power to leverage someone's dramatic concerns into an opportunity for their personal growth (and perhaps yours).
- Become more inspiring as you age - be a light not a judge.
- Flip the script on the drama - look for alternatives to the drama instead of affirming it.
- Live in the moment - model contentment not conflict
The stage is yours...shine the spotlight on something purposeful not something petty
- Protect yourself from the drama-drain when possible
- Run interference so drama doesn't overtake you
- Focus on what you can influence instead of what's merely a concern
Press on...
Eddie
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