039: A Type of Still-ness You'll Want to Deal With as You Age

It's a simple word that might not sound like a big deal.

But it could be among the most dangerous words in your growth and longevity vocabulary.

The word is: "still."

There are alternative and certainly beneficial uses of the word.

But in this context, consider how you routinely use it.

You say something like,...

"I'm still hoping for..."

"I'm still trying to decide..."

"I'm still frustrated..."

"I'm still planning to..."

Basically, this brand of "still-ness" is a deep rut full of potential regrets.

The problem with using "still" in front of what you want to do, change, or become is that you're locked into a decades-long or generational rut of inactivity on something that (if attempted) could be a tipping-point for your growth and longevity.

It's time to be "still" no more and begin to take action on whatever you've been delaying

I've done my fair-share of "still-living."

"Still" has carved out such a chasm in our verbiage that we attach it as a kind of excuse-padding to many of our second-half of life goals, plans, or dreams.

Instead, choose some positive restlessness over this unproductive brand of still-ness.

• Realizing how staying in a rut hinders meaningful aging and longevity
• Identifying the baggage you've carried throughout your life and deciding to lighten your load
• Understanding the toxicity of settling for something in your life instead of seeking a better solution

Realize that what you're still delaying could be hindering your growth and longevity

Not all delays are bad.

But a high percentage of them give you another reason to merely stay put.

The deeper problem with delayed action is that it makes you comfortable with habits or choices that could be eroding your growth as you age.

The following fundamental questions can help get the wheels moving for you again.

Step away for a moment, get "still" (the good kind of stillness), and process your answers to each.

• What are you still doing (that you need to stop)?
• What are you still planning (that you need to take action on - even though your plans are incomplete)?
• What are you still struggling with (that you need to overcome or seek help to move past)?
• What are you still hoping for (that you need to pursue without judgement)?

Removing those roadblocks could open up new vistas you haven't seen or experienced by staying in still-zone.

Identify and let go of the baggage you've carried and begin feeling the peace of a lighter load

Identifiable baggage is a good place to start.

It's like standing at the baggage claim carousel at the airport.

You see all these bags making the circle and after awhile they all look the same.

But they're not (the same).

While there are baggage similarities, everyone packs and carries different stuff on their journey.

The key is having an identifiable tag or marker that says - "Hey, that's my bag...I own it!"

In the personal growth realm this takes courage.

Truth is, we all want our baggage to blend in with everyone else's.

If someone mistakenly picks up ours...well...sucks to be them!

But if you're always relying on others to carry your stuff you'll be less likely to deal with your personal baggage.

Steven Pressfield, in his book The War of Art, makes a penetrating statement relative to our relational baggage:

"Often couples or close friends, even entire families, will enter into tacit compacts whereby each individual pledges (unconsciously) to remain mired in the same slough in which she and all her cronies have become so comfortable." 1

That "slough" (or rut) he's referring to is like a perpetual baggage claim area.

One in which we're all too committed to standing around remaining comfortable that our baggage is just like everyone else's.

While there's a bit of comfort in knowing this kinship, there's a heavy burden that comes along with it.

This is your one and only life - why carry all that weight (even though others choose to do so).

Identify your personal baggage and commit to lightening your load.

• The baggage others handed you that you've felt obligated to carry.
• The baggage that you place on your own shoulders because you feel unworthy or too insecure about to travel lighter.

Remember...baggage gets heavier and heavier in the still-zone of obligation or passivity.

Understand that settling creates a potentially toxic environment in stark contrast to new growth

For years I settled for dirt and lack of grass growth beneath the large maple tree in our backyard.

I've known that sod or seeding was a solution but instead I settled for the dirt and post-rain mud that was a product of that non-growth environment.

This summer...I settled no longer!

We got sod - the type that takes root and grows in a shady environment.

And it's totally changed our patio space.

The principle: actively change your environment by adding new growth.

New growth for you might mean...

• No longer settling for negative self-talk about your age-based realities
• No longer settling for the status-quo mindset clutter for someone of...wait-for-it...your age
• No longer settling for unproductive or unhealthy habits and choices

It's a cliche' phrase but nonetheless useful:

"When is the best time to plant something (a seed, tree, etc)? Twenty-five years ago. And when is the next best time to do so? Today!

It's essential to your growth and longevity that you pursue compelling things - while you still have the capacity to do so

• Realize that delays create ruts of inactivity unrealized potential
• Identify and let go of your baggage to lighten your load
• Understand the toxic potential of settling and plant new seeds of growth

Press on...

Eddie

Sources:

1 - Steven Pressfield, The War of Art-Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles, p19.